A year ago, I made the decision to participate in the K-12 Mental Health Program as a fellow to explore what it meant to be a leader and what youth advocacy meant. I felt reluctant because I was unsure of what to expect, but I knew that mental health is something that I had encountered more than just a few times, both through my own experiences and through what I have witnessed in my community. Above all, I think I felt doubt about whether or not my voice would actually make a difference.
At K-12, we are guided by adult leaders to collaborate with a team of youth to work on mental health public policy through this process: On the topic of mental health, we aim for aspects of this issue that are important to consider, next is to do the research on public policy work from county to county, then we hear from the community by hosting surveys, tabling events, and doing interviews with youth, and then bring all of our data to present to decision makers. One of the most essential aspects to this work is collaboration with people from different kinds of backgrounds – and understanding each other’s ideas is what we always come back to throughout the entire process. When I think of leadership, I think of someone who is not afraid to speak up – who communicates with and actively listens to others. I think I’m becoming that person through the K-12 Mental Health Program.
I’ve always thought of mental health as something that affects people far beyond the stigma surrounding it. To some, it’s a “weakness” or “laziness” but I disagree. At my school, youth don’t really have spaces to talk about their mental health and what’s on their mind. We are always so focused on school work and thinking about our own lives, sometimes we miss the signs that youth are struggling. My school doesn’t have the best reputation, and whenever I got a bad grade, I felt like there wasn’t enough time or resources to make sure that I was receiving enough help. Sometimes, bad grades can be a reflection of how someone is feeling or they can be a subtle hint of other things that are going on in their lives.
Youth spend a lot of time in the bathroom to skip class only to get in trouble and get told to go back to class. But ultimately, no one checks in on them. It’s a strange situation to me because I’ve used the bathroom normally and had situations where an adult I don’t know yells at everyone in the bathroom to get out and go back to class. I think there are better alternatives to that. Occasionally, we are given surveys to check up on how we feel, but it’s hard to answer exactly what happens after that. Countless students take the survey at the same time, but the bigger issue is the number of students who may be struggling and finding it difficult to ask for help
My school has a clinic, but it’s not very well promoted. Some youth are uncomfortable with communication – they don’t seek it out. So now I’m wondering, where do all these thoughts go? Youth have to figure it out on their own, navigate how to manage their stress on top of everything else. After being part of this program for nearly a year, I feel like I could be someone others can talk to. I’m a senior now, and I want to break the cycle. It’s something I wouldn’t have done a year prior.
Something that I’ve learned from partnering with other youth in my region is that someone can look and act “normal,” and be doing well in school academically, but can still be struggling. I know someone who was just like this, but when I talked to them, they told me they felt like they were barely hanging on because of the pressure to succeed. This wasn’t the first time a friend talked to me about something so serious and there’s this recurring pattern I’ve noticed among students of all kinds: feeling unsafe, uncertain, even a lack of motivation. I’ve learned a lot about mental health from my team, our research, and our understanding of each others’ new ideas and perspectives. There are high schools out there who have stronger reputations than we do because of their academic performance. However, these students feel the academic pressure, and the drive to succeed can impact mental health in its own way. I understand that there are lots of factors that affect mental health – the way people were raised, beliefs, friends, the school environment itself. It has been interesting to hear others’ perspectives, and it’s triggered new ideas for me as well.
Stepping into Leadership
One of my biggest challenges has been speaking in front of an audience. I either talk too fast, or am so nervous that I can’t make eye contact. Because of that, I used to pass the role on to someone else when an opportunity for public speaking came up. But I’ve really grown as a person this past year. Working with my team to speak to state representatives about the K-12 program and sharing personal experiences felt so fulfilling. The representatives were actively listening, writing down notes to report back. One special moment for me was when they gave us their business cards. I’ve had to talk constantly to others and I think the practice is really what I needed. When the team is having trouble, we just brainstorm, starting with how we feel even if it’s not perfect: “I’m not sure right now, but this is my idea – what do you all think?” This kind of constant practice is how my leadership skills began to sprout. I voiced my thoughts so often that I began to feel more prepared for different situations. I’m getting used to it and it’s starting to come naturally.
Going to Sacramento was a whole new experience for me. I’ve never stayed in a nice hotel like that before, in my own room. It was my first time bowling. Even the distribution of snacks to bring back to our rooms the night before the meeting was one of the moments I like to think about. There were a lot of small moments that were really important, like running through the rain without an umbrella – everyone got wet! These funny moments brought us closer together and helped us build a sense of community.
My team did a lot of talking and planning to prepare for this trip. We researched, and everyone put their all into it. We were writing down notes in the car on the way to Sacramento, and I felt panicked that we hadn’t done enough! When we got there, we were able to connect with other youth teams across the state. I learned that although our titles and roles are different, our combined efforts during the trip made our work feel empowering. What we accomplished at the State Capitol showed that youth voices are essential to building stronger communities. My team practiced our talking points, and we gave each other really good advice, and that calmed my nerves.
After all the work we did, it was a great experience being exposed to the legislature, speaking to representatives and talking about what’s important to me. I’m pushing myself to be a leader and taking initiative when I talk to others. I’m excited about what we can create and push to implement as youth advocating for our communities.
The difference is, I found hope
My ideas haven’t changed that much since I started the program. The difference is, I found hope. A year ago I would not have thought that there was power in my voice. Now I realize that I carry the perspective of somebody who has witnessed adversity in my community, and seen how it affects the mental health of people my age, everywhere. I used to doubt whether bringing awareness to this work could be effective – I thought, I’m just one person. But being part of a team is what’s made me realize that numbers mean power. I’ve had experience talking to others, sharing stories and bringing those stories to decision-makers. It has caused me to reflect more on my leadership as a representative of my county.
Over the past year, this program kept me steady and helped me to push through. I start school tomorrow, and I’m really curious how I’ll see things now. I feel really motivated. I want to see this project grow. Working as a collective has altered my perspective from doubting myself to learning my voice especially matters in all the work we’ve done. There is still so much work to be done, and I still have so many questions. But now I know my reason to keep advocating for mental health despite the stigma. I found hope.