Calafia

My Converse led me to a city of wonders, 
where life feels like a scene
From dust to fog, from sand to sea,
From a place I used to embrace, to a new chapter

Dear Freshman Clarissa,

I know this new chapter of your life seems to be filled with ambivalent emotions: anxiety, uncertainty, and self-doubt, counterbalancing gratitude, pride, and hopefulness.

When I look in the mirror, I see a daughter of Asian-American immigrants and a first-generation student. This is the ongoing story of my life, shaped by my family’s journey in a foreign land and my own relentless pathway to college.

Will I know what spring feels like again? Where the flowers bloom. Or will our soil continue to be covered with the mess of profit over people? This is the future I do not accept!

People say “Money can’t buy happiness” but if money is the key for my mom not to worry and cry and fight with my dad, that would make me happy. It will make my siblings happy because my mom wouldn’t have to work so hard and my dad wouldn’t have to work so hard and could actually make time for me and my siblings. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness must’ve never gone through my struggles.

At just 15 years old, I hopped on a plane without my mom. How do I even write about being miles apart from the person who supported me my entire life, or begin to fathom her not even attending my high school graduation? I can’t.

Fresno is a city where financial struggle is as common as the pavement we walk on. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 20.6% of Fresno County residents live in poverty, more than 1.5 times the rate for California and the United States. I was one of them.

Our needs weren’t a box with treats for the taking. They were our necessities for survival.